I wish I could clean mirrors for a living. It's just something I can see myself doing.

Want to hear a chimney joke? Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

Leather is great for sneaking around because it's made of hide.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they take everything literally.

I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked. Then it just clicked.

Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Dunno, they're just a bit shady.