📚 THE JOKE ARCHIVE
All the terrible jokes that came before. A proud legacy of groaning.
Friday, Oct 2, 2026
They're making a movie about clocks. It's about time
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🤦 50% groaned
Thursday, Oct 1, 2026
It's only a murder of crows if there's probable caws.
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🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Sep 30, 2026
Velcro… What a rip-off.
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🤦 50% groaned
Tuesday, Sep 29, 2026
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk? A fowl smell!
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🤦 50% groaned
Monday, Sep 28, 2026
People saying 'boo! to their friends has risen by 85% in the last year.... That's a frightening statistic.
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🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Sep 27, 2026
Have you heard of the band 1023MB? They haven't got a gig yet.
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🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Sep 26, 2026
I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
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🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Sep 25, 2026
Did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were catholic.
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Thursday, Sep 24, 2026
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’
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🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Sep 23, 2026
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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🤦 50% groaned
Tuesday, Sep 22, 2026
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.
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🤦 50% groaned
Monday, Sep 21, 2026
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
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🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Sep 20, 2026
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? They had a reptile dysfunction.
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🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Sep 19, 2026
What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.
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🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Sep 18, 2026
Why did the chicken get a penalty? For fowl play.
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Thursday, Sep 17, 2026
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
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🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Sep 16, 2026
Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water. I said "Well dam"
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🤦 50% groaned
Tuesday, Sep 15, 2026
Whiteboards ... are remarkable.
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🤦 50% groaned
Monday, Sep 14, 2026
Why are fish easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.
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Sunday, Sep 13, 2026
I was shocked when I was diagnosed as colorblind... It came out of the purple.
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🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Sep 12, 2026
What's the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.
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Friday, Sep 11, 2026
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
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🤦 50% groaned
Thursday, Sep 10, 2026
I adopted my dog from a blacksmith. As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.
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🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Sep 9, 2026
A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Tuesday, Sep 8, 2026
What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
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🤦 50% groaned
Monday, Sep 7, 2026
Camping is intense.
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🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Sep 6, 2026
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
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🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Sep 5, 2026
I went to the store to pick up eight cans of sprite... when I got home I realized I'd only picked seven up
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🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Sep 4, 2026
My sister bet me $15 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.
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🤦 50% groaned
Thursday, Sep 3, 2026
They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck. It quacked under the pressure.
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🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Sep 2, 2026
It was raining cats and dogs the other day. I almost stepped in a poodle.
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🤦 50% groaned
Tuesday, Sep 1, 2026
"Dad, I'm cold."
"Go stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees."
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Monday, Aug 31, 2026
What is this movie about? It is about 2 hours long.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Sunday, Aug 30, 2026
Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch? Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.
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🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Aug 29, 2026
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
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Friday, Aug 28, 2026
A dad washes his car with his son. But after a while, the son says, "why can't you just use a sponge?"
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 0% groaned
Thursday, Aug 27, 2026
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
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🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Aug 26, 2026
Just read a few facts about frogs. They were ribbiting.
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🤦 50% groaned
Tuesday, Aug 25, 2026
Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door.
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🤦 50% groaned
Monday, Aug 24, 2026
“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
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🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Aug 23, 2026
Why did the miner get fired from his job? He took it for granite...
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🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Aug 22, 2026
Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours. They decided to call it a day.
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🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Aug 21, 2026
How do you teach a kid to climb stairs? There is a step by step guide.
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Thursday, Aug 20, 2026
Why is the ocean always blue? Because the shore never waves back.
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Wednesday, Aug 19, 2026
They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian – they’re not laughing now.
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🤦 50% groaned
Tuesday, Aug 18, 2026
How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
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🤦 50% groaned
Monday, Aug 17, 2026
It's difficult to say what my wife does, she sells sea shells by the sea shore.
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🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Aug 16, 2026
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
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🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Aug 15, 2026
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's ok, he woke up.
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🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Aug 14, 2026
"I'll call you later." Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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🤦 50% groaned