📚 THE JOKE ARCHIVE
All the terrible jokes that came before. A proud legacy of groaning.
Saturday, Apr 11, 2026
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Apr 10, 2026
Where do bees go to the bathroom? The BP station.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Thursday, Apr 9, 2026
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Apr 8, 2026
Why can't eggs have love? They will break up too soon.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Tuesday, Apr 7, 2026
Have you ever seen fruit preserves being made? It's jarring.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Monday, Apr 6, 2026
Coffee has a tough time at my house, every morning it gets mugged.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Apr 5, 2026
I just broke my guitar. It's okay, I won't fret
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Apr 4, 2026
I ate a clock yesterday. It was so time consuming.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Apr 3, 2026
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic, they said: go ahead, knock yourself out.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 0% groaned
Thursday, Apr 2, 2026
Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it... We had some drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web developer.
🗳️ 3 votes |
🤦 67% groaned
Monday, Mar 23, 2026
How come the stadium got hot after the game? Because all of the fans left.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Mar 22, 2026
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Mar 21, 2026
To be Frank, I'd have to change my name.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Mar 20, 2026
What do you call a female snake. misssssssss
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Thursday, Mar 19, 2026
I'll tell you what often gets over looked... garden fences.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Sunday, Mar 15, 2026
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop signing "I'm A Believer"... Then I saw her face.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Mar 14, 2026
What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand...
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Mar 13, 2026
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Thursday, Mar 12, 2026
What do you call two barracuda fish? A Pairacuda!
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Wednesday, Mar 11, 2026
What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? Ketchup.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Tuesday, Mar 10, 2026
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 0% groaned
Monday, Mar 9, 2026
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Sunday, Mar 8, 2026
Why was it called the dark ages? Because of all the knights.
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Saturday, Mar 7, 2026
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 0% groaned
Friday, Mar 6, 2026
"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Thursday, Mar 5, 2026
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Wednesday, Mar 4, 2026
Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.
🗳️ 1 votes |
🤦 0% groaned
Tuesday, Mar 3, 2026
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
🗳️ 3 votes |
🤦 33% groaned
Monday, Mar 2, 2026
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk.
🗳️ 4 votes |
🤦 75% groaned
Sunday, Mar 1, 2026
Dermatologists are always in a hurry. They spend all day making rash decisions.
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 0% groaned
Saturday, Feb 28, 2026
Chances are if you' ve seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Friday, Feb 27, 2026
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
🗳️ 3 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Thursday, Feb 26, 2026
I won an argument with a weather forecaster once. His logic was cloudy...
🗳️ 3 votes |
🤦 67% groaned
Wednesday, Feb 25, 2026
I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Tuesday, Feb 24, 2026
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 0% groaned
Monday, Feb 23, 2026
What did one nut say as he chased another nut? I'm a cashew!
🗳️ 2 votes |
🤦 100% groaned
Sunday, Feb 22, 2026
Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Saturday, Feb 21, 2026
I accidentally took my cats meds last night. Don’t ask meow.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned
Thursday, Jan 1, 2026
🎨
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
🗳️ 0 votes |
🤦 50% groaned