Why do cows not have toes? They lactose!

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.

Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? Cause you shouldn't press your luck.

I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.

How do you make a 'one' disappear? You add a 'g' and it's 'gone'

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.