I accidentally took my cats meds last night. Don’t ask meow.

Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank

What did one nut say as he chased another nut? I'm a cashew!

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.

I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.

I won an argument with a weather forecaster once. His logic was cloudy...

I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.